Toronto Roller Derby - Season 6 Opener - Feb 4th

Now, I've never actually been to a real, live roller derby, but the folks at Toronto Roller Derby have been added to my "Like" list on the ol' Facebook. The downside? You've got to make your way all the way up to Downsview park to take in the event. The upside? Booze & bruising babes bashing and brawling in board-to-board bouts... This post is brought to you by the letter B. Deal with it.

The Toronto Roller Derby is the largest flat-track league in Canada, with four of its own house teams, a travel team, a farm team, and over 100 active skaters. They've even spawned a couple of other teams that train and compete out of other locations in the city. It's had five seasons so far, with each bringing bigger crowds, and a bigger following than the last. Check out last year's promo video:






Event Details:


On Saturday, February 4th, 2012, they'll kick off their sixth season with two matches - the cleverly named D-VAS (one of the Toronto teams spun-off from ToRD) will fight amongst themselves, then the Gore Gore Rollergirls will take on 2011 Toronto Champions Chicks Ahoy. No, I'm not making these names up.

Doors at 5:00, early bout at 6:00. Food & booze for sale at the venue. $14 in advance from their website, or $12 advance from ticket outlets listed on the Facebook event page.


Rules:

So, we all know it's cool chicks in themed outfits smashing into each other at high speeds, but what's the actual object? They play according to the Women's Flat Track Derby Association's rules. Basically, there's a flat oval track that's between 13 and 15 feet wide , and about 90 feet long. It's played in 2 x 30 minute periods, each divided into multiple "jams", which are races to score points. Each jam is two minutes or less, and has a maximum of four Blockers (including one Pivot) and a Jammer (see below).

There are three main positions players play - Blocker, Pivot, and Jammer. The Jammer is the one who does the scoring of points by passing opposing skaters (except the first time through the pack). Each skater she passes is a point. Blockers don't score points, and skate in "the pack"... basically to gum up the works and keep the Jammers from skating by by "blocking" or bodychecking them. Pivots are a special blocker that can turn into a Jammer if the "star" is passed to her by swapping helmet covers. Phew. Got all that?

General info on all upcoming shows, and for those ladies of sound constitution, how to skate with the teams is on their Facebook page. They're also selling calendars to raise awareness and funds for the fight against prostate cancer. As the proud owner of a prostate (or so my Doctor claims when he's spelunking), that's a whole lotta allllright.

I, for one, am looking forward to some lively competition and good times. The only question is, who should I root for? My support is up for auction.

No worries. It's all good.

The Real Jerk is Closing!

Now, normally I try to keep it to happy news, and refrain from posting things that I don't like, but this bears mentioning, if for nothing more than motivating you to get out and make one last stop at this Tdot institution.

According to an article in the Toronto Star, The Real Jerk, a Jamaican-Canadian-owned Caribbean restaurant that's graced the corner of Queen & Broadview for the better part of 30 years is the latest casualty of condominium developers. No word on if the mural will form part of the glass & concrete exterior.

I'm taking this one a little bit personally, since it's been a place where so many fond memories were made. Back when we were young and unencumbered by things like debt and morals, we used to fuel up there before attending all-night dance-a-thons (or something like that) at the nearby Opera House.

Every two months a group of us would descend on the Jerk to devour some delicious jerk pork or roti, and guzzle down the generously poured double rum & cokes. We would endure its service provided on "island time" and the somewhat forgetful servers along with everyone else because the chaw is the real deal.

Doors close at the end of January, so you've still got a few weeks to get down there for one last hurrah. I'd suggest a reservation, since you won't be the only one making the pilgrimage. 709 Queen East. Main courses $10-15.

Hopefully it finds a new location, and hopefully nearby, since the only other pre-drink option is Jilly's... well, maybe it's not all bad, but I wouldn't trust the burgers...

It's all good, before it's all gone. Get 'r India.

January music picks!!!

January 11 - Caveman - The (Legendary) Horseshoe Tavern

A five piece band out of Brooklyn, USA, they're not the peppiest of songwriters, but if you're in the mood for beautifully composed indie rock/folk/godknows, with a bit of a poetic edge to the lyrics (i.e. thinking music), check these dudes out. Wow, that was a long sentence. They're still pretty raw, and on their way up, but that's understandable considering they've only been together a few years. Don't believe me? Check out Exhibit A:




They're playing alongside co-Brooklyn-ite chick-led peppy/cheeky-indie-style Hospitality, (that's a hell of a lot of hyphens) and Volcano Playground, another orchestral-sounding 70's-ish style band out of Tdot, who desperately need to get something other than Myspace where people can listen to their shit. This jam is at my absolute favourite rock dive, and should be a great way to spend your Hump Night. $12 on the door.

January 14 - Ginger St. James & The Grinders - The Dakota Tavern
 
Alright, so I've blogged about this chick before, but you probably haven't gotten off of your couch to see her play yet, have you? Right, so, here's your chance. She's got one of the best voices I've heard in a loooonnnngggg frickin' time, and a wonderful stage presence. She'll have her whole band in tow on this night, which promises to be a rollicking good time. The Dakota is a honky-tonkin' good time at the worst of times, and she'll rock the place. Don't miss it. $10 on the door.




January 20 - Real Estate - Lee's Palace

A band out of New Jersey, and a little reminiscent of the Arkells. it's hard to believe that they've only been rolling together for a little over three years. They're known as a "band to watch" by many, and they're on their way up. Catch them now for their lovely song-writing, if only so you can brag that you saw them "back before they were big."

These boys are playing Lee's Palace, another great rock dive/must experience kind of place.

January 20 - Stanton Warriors - Ame
A breakbeat duo out of the UK, Stanton Warriors have been on the case since 1998. Their sound has evolved from speed garage, which, let's be honest, nobody ever really liked... but these dudes have taken it to the next level. Ranging from haunting to cheeky, all of it danceable, you can just close your eyes and move to their sets. No thinking required. So, if you're up for a little rump shakin', this is your jam.




Different kind of venue too - Ame - a high end sushi joint at 19 Mercer St. Curious to see how well it converts. $25 advance tickets, more on the door.

December 28 - Birthday Bass - Nocturne
 

If you haven't gotten all of your rump-shaking out of your system at the Stanton Warriors the night before, then check out the lovely Lady Bass' birthday jam at Nocturne. Some of Toronto's top hard house spinners are making an appearance to drop big, bassy, dancefloor-driven tunes to help Ms. Bass celebrate another year. She throws semi-regular jams, every month or two in the same space, and the lineup is always top-notch. Check out the website for more details. Free before 11, $5 after. BYODS.

December 29 - Collie Buddz - Sound Academy

Probably best known for his hit "Day & Night," this pot-centric reggae artist out of Bermuda. He credits Tdot as being his "home away from home" and claims that he wrote most of his biggest song here. This jam is sure to be packed, as Tdot shows its love best for those who love it. He's touring in support of his "Playback" release of last year.

My personal favourite made one badass drum n' bass remix. I gave you his original, just for the sensuous pace of it. $21.50 + service charge (so $24-5).


Enjoy your mild & wild January, 'cos it's alllllll good. ;-)